Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
