You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
