i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
