it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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