I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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