I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
