Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
