well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
