Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm like, not good at living.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
