My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
