my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Who wears a wallet chain?!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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