and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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