Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
