One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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