I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
