I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
