Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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