I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
this will be a night to untag.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
