this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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