I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
