I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
