dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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