why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
