omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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