what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
