Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
