I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
