Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
