My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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