Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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