do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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