another moral hangover. fuck.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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