I'd wear matching sweaters with you
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I would ride that face into the sunset
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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