I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
