Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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