either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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