Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
