Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
