what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
