Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
