Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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