i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
