remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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