my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
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