A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
