$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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