he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Randomize
