3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
