It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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