nut hugger
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
