He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
