Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
